Doing the work of the enneagram
I did my first typing interview in YEARS the other day. It was so nice. I love helping people find out more about how their patterns show up in their lives. I love assisting people in the creation of insights into where they get stuck and where their relationships fail to create sustainable satisfaction in their lives.
Our patterns are often so ingrained in us that we cannot see how they help or hinder us in becoming the person we want to be in the world. The things we do out of fear in an attempt to stay safe are often also the things that keep us disconnected and out of integrity with the person we may say we are.
Your defensiveness is your block to curiosity.
Your management of someone else’s emotion is your block to being in conenction with them.
Your retaliation against someone who hurt you is your block to empathy.
Your hypervigilance around threat is what keeps you out of love.
We all want approval, play, connection, empathy, and love from other people. We all need attention, recognition, and affection. But our patterns often get in the way of receiving those things even when they are being offered to us on a silver platter.
Recently, I have stepped out of my integrity. The stress of life has me leaning into some patterns that I thought I had conquered. Defensiveness, rage, pettiness, and dissociation have come to the battle lines to keep me safe. These are things that were not developed in me on their own. The patterns and dynamics of my family of origin made these traits advantageous in me. They helped me escape punishment, gain approval, and tolerate what was inexcusable. These traits are not my fault.
But they are my responsibility.
I identity with the self preservation 2 pattern. If you want to read more about it, you can do that here. I can be childlike in the way i interact with the world and my life. A little chaos bunny that keeps creating and maintaining chaos hoping for someone to rescue me. An seeming unwillingness to step into full integrity and responsibility. A leaning into the role of victim especially when I am hurt and stressed. These are not patterns that I am proud of but they are patterns I am aware of. They are patterns that I actively work on.
Awareness is not enough. Awareness does not create changed behavior. It is merely the first step in a long stair case of action steps towards making different choices. I often tell people that when they are actively working against their patterns, it may feel like they are going to die. It may feel dangerous and irresponsible. They may judge themselves.
Bottom line: it is fucking uncomfortable.
A brief synopsis of the work of each type:
1- to get messy and break some rules
2- to develop humility and stop giving to learn about motivation
3- to stop comparing yourself to others and simply do what feels good
4- to recognize and connect to the ordinary in life
5- to reach out into relational space even when it feels impossible
6- to focus on the positive and whats going well
7- to be still and uncomfortable
8- to let go of control, to let things be the way they are
9- to make yourself known, to take up space
Easier said then done right?
I have decided to discount my typing sessions for my newsletter and blog readers. If you respond to this email or send me an email that you would like to do a typing interview, I will give you $100 off if you book before June 1st!
With each typing interview you get:
Access to my online enneagram basics course
Follow up assignments
Follow up reading and materials
Discounts on coaching packages you may want to sign up for now or in the future (coaching is where we put the work of the type into action)
I am here and I would love to walk alongside you in your journey to getting unstuck. I will be doing the work right along with you. You can sign up by filling out the contact form starting a chat about how to get on the calendar.